Sexual Promiscuity

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 9:18 am

Inspired by the porn in movies flicks I thought what is the bigger issue here?

I thought it relates to the direction societies are taking as we are all bombarded with issues of sexual promiscuity and life long relationships appear to be fading into a thing of the past. If u try to deny the influence of the mass media Ill simply laugh and besides, that isnt the point of the topic!

Is this good? On the one hand we have the exaple of holland, very sexually liberated with almost no censorship (if any at all) casual prostitution laws etc and they have the least amunt of sexual crimes, teenage pregnancies and used to be STDs

On the other hand we have UK with highest teenage pregnancy rate in EU, rising rates of STDs etc.

Personally im not a big fan of being overly promiscous, id rather be with a hirl that means something and that I can trust. Part of this is due to my upbringing and being a hopeless romantic but part of this is practicality, Id rather have a girl I dont need to use a condom with everytime cos im worried shes been sleeping with every guy in the (geographic region of choice) and Id like to think if I ever have kids that the kids more than likely to be mine.

So theres a few real examples for and against sexual liberation and at the end my own personal opinion.

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 11:20 am

in the society that we live in...sex sells. that's just how it is.

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 12:23 pm

mrywe wrote:

Part of this is due to my upbringing and being a hopeless romantic but part of this is practicality, Id rather have a girl I dont need to use a condom with everytime cos im worried shes been sleeping with every guy in the (geographic region of choice) and Id like to think if I ever have kids that the kids more than likely to be mine.

It does indeed have alot to do with upbringing I think. But that works both ways... either children will follow in their parents footsteps or they will be the complete opposite.

I think everyone would rather have a girl they can trust, but you can ofcourse never know if you can... you can only know a person is untrustworthy with 100% certainty and you can never know with 100% certainty that someone actualy is trustworthy.

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 12:27 pm

I used to be a helpless romantic, but I've always been dissociative to real romances. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't typically go after any girl at all, and when they use all the signals my immunity usually halts their advances.

Thus it doesn't really matter to me. Everyone is different, I like to believe, in their heart of hearts. You cannot control their decisions, no matter how forceful your society is.

thetranman said sex sells. And indeed it does. Just look at the topics here for example... they have higher hit ratios than other topics. It really does sell. It is typically what people want ultimately.

For me, it has to do with level of understanding. I'm highly analytical, and thus possibilities of me getting into a romantic situation I don't like are low to nil.

Promiscuity; for me, it's a maturity as much as it is a social issue. There are those that would say it's immature to be promiscuous... then those who would argue it's immature to suppress it. I'm a little of both. It doesn't so much matter to me what other people do... I mean, it's their life's, not mine.

But mrywe, it is true that nations who suppress it have higher rates of teenage pregnancies and rape. Because sexual motivation is there, whether I can feel it or not, and if you suppress it, you're asking for trouble. It's part of nature; and just like outlawing taking a shit. You're only going to be disappointed.

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 12:42 pm

The issue of promiscuity has many implications and causes I think. I'm not really sure how I feel about it over all, except that it's not something I do. I personally don't care what other people do. If they want to be promiscuous, then hey, to each their own. Provided it doesn't affect me in anyway, I really don't give a shit.

As to the original question, sure it's good for some people. Sex is good. Not all promiscuity is bad in my opinion, it works for some people. There's always something to be gained, good, bad or otherwise, from all experiences. And hopefully, something is learned from everything too. I have a friend that I've known for years who was so shy she would have panic attacks in crowded places or if someone she didn't know looked her in the eye. She went through a promiscuous phase, did porn for a few years, and it really helped her in the long run. She came out of her shell, gained a good deal of self confidence from it and doesn't have panic attacks anymore. So, in her case, I'd say, no it wasn't bad at all. She did however have to deal with alot of jealous women, people calling her a slut, a whore, men that hated her for it. And still has to strive to be taken seriously by people who know she's done it.

Globally speaking, I don't really think we are really any more promiscuous than we ever were, people always had sex and lots of them with multiple partners. But, as you said, because of the media's influence, I think we're not as closeted as we use to be about it. And so more willing to talk about it or admit it, as the case may be.

It seems to be more a problem on an individual level though. Why a person does what they do is a better question. What is lacking that they might be looking for with it. Or what they're trying to ignore. Sex can be an addiction just like anything else. But, I don't believe all people that are promiscuous are sex addicted, or weren't given love from their parents, or whatever.

But personally for me, I don't want a promiscuous man. And promiscuity doesn't work for me personally either. Just not what I want. I like my dignity, and to be flippant about my sexual encounters, just makes me feel shitty about myself. But people live and they learn. And I had to learn that about myself too.

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 12:44 pm

It really comes down to one thing, sex is basically considered the only legal narcotic...
you see behavior that reflects that ideology

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 12:57 pm

I prefer to stay monogamous, as in having one partner for X period of time, as it means more for me. I like to only have 1 partner as sex then has meaning and feeling in it that makes the experience more enjoyable, as opposed to twenty different partners in 6 months. If this continues sex will continue to have decreased meaning, along with relationships. You can blame a lot of people for this, though I always said that most guys think with their dick before their head, which seems to be true for the most part.

I may be a romantic, but certainly not a good one at picking up women. I have a hard time approaching people I don't know that well and getting to know them, though my most recent girlfriend was the only exception. However, i've continued to learn from all my previous relationships and each new one gains meaning, but I still consider it not promiscuous mainly because each relationship has romantic meaning, as opposed to simply having sex and then leaving them the next day.

Higher STD/Pregnancy rates simply means lack of respect, eduacation, and rampant ignorance.

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 1:09 pm

Well, to tell you to the truth... We (Homo Stupidens) are not the only race to have promiscuety.

Most animals species actual screw around like theirs no tomorrow. In the animal kingdom having babies with different males actualy insures that atleast one of them will have good genes past down to them.

Dolphins on the other hand find a 'mate' for life yet after a feeding all dolphins engage in what can only be discribed as "orgy" It is said that this actualy strengthens their social cohesion. It makes them a tighter group.... I believe there's some truth in it.

It would probably be good scientific research as to when in our evolution we went from females having babies with multiple males into a largely monogamis species... my bet is it must have been around the time we started wearing cloths and females could clearly see the sieze of our... euh... ego, yeah ego's that's it Smile

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 1:33 pm

Erulin wrote:

Dolphins on the other hand find a 'mate' for life yet after a feeding all dolphins engage in what can only be discribed as "orgy" It is said that this actualy strengthens their social cohesion. It makes them a tighter group.... I believe there's some truth in it.

Crowleyite!

Smile

Boy... those were fun times... Cool

Strictly for research, of course...

Mr. Crowley... (great song, especially CoF remake... damn makes me remember Moonspell's "Erotic Alchemy")

But on a more serious note, there is truth behind this. In the past, groups of elite individuals have been known to expose later in life that they took part in such orgies, which truly prove to improve relationships, taken as a cohesive [w]hole.

Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 8:58 pm

There are so many variables as to why people stray and there just isn't one good answer.

I know a guy who hasn't had sex with his wife for over 8 years because they lost a child several years ago. She just isn't interested in being a wife anymore in a sexual capacity. Is it ok then for the husband to stray? They have other children and keep the marriage together to keep the family together but there isn't any physical side to the relationship whatsoever.

Smile

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:37 pm

SMEGGIE wrote:

There are so many variables as to why people stray and there just isn't one good answer.

I know a guy who hasn't had sex with his wife for over 8 years because they lost a child several years ago. She just isn't interested in being a wife anymore in a sexual capacity. Is it ok then for the husband to stray? They have other children and keep the marriage together to keep the family together but there isn't any physical side to the relationship whatsoever.

Smile

If you think its important on what promises they made when they committed to each other, then it is not ok. Personally id be more focused on healing my wife rather than having sex with anyone for an indeterminate time.

Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 5:54 am

sex is more meaningful with someone you know well and have been with in a relationship for X amount of time but if your *cough* *cough* wants sex its okay to be sexually active

Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 2:07 pm

sex is great.. and i think anyone who complains about sex just aint getting any...

Just my thoughts Razz

Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 2:10 pm

Make no mistake we are all promiscuous just to different levels of acceptability usually to make ourselves appear inferior or superior to our peers.

Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:55 pm

I think there are some very good points that have been made here..

My parents have been married for 35 years.. and i applaud any couple that remains true to there vows, especially these days.. but then standards and mutual respect are alot different these days to those of yesteryear.

I married at 21 and ended up being divorced at 26 after my then wife had an affair.. we've debated this over the years passed and to her admittance it wasn't about sex, it was more greed for materialistic and financial gain than anything else.

There are so many reasons as to why people stray.. and at 21 i was very knieve to them, based purely on the fact that not one member of my vast family had divorced ever, infact i was the first in my family to divorce and that saddened me deeply.

However.. being not so knieve these days i have come to my own conclusions (right or wrong) that these days people seem to think that love is a commodity.. easily gained.. easy to get rid of, and this is evident in the increased number of divorces.. and i think relevent to promescuity.

Don't get me wrong.. i was a virgin at 21 (as i have said in other posts) and i am proud of that fact.. and once divorced i sampled the world of sexuality, lust and passion with quite a few partners, some of which i didn't necessarily have a relationship with Shocked

... and i have to say that even though a great time was had by all i do prefer to remain totally monogamous within the realms of a loving and caring respectful relationship.

Sex is sex, a bodily function that is programmed into us.. after all, we are here to reproduce and further the human race, it is our basic function, our animal instinct, as it is to any other animal on this planet.

However there is a difference between sex and making love and i think love in all it's glory is as special as those who truly give it!

I too may well be a romantic like others who have replied to this post, but i'd rather have one partner and explore her mind, her body and soul, make love to her, respect her, cherish her for all time.

Awww aint i a soppy sod Rolling Eyes